“There he goes. One
of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered
for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” – HST
Those participating in BK Hash #484 were told to meet at the
Metropolitan-Lorimer stop of the L/G….ambiguous directions that were a strong precursor
of what was to come.Canine
Fixation, a mathematics expert, talented runner and an otherwise reasonable
fellow, gave a polished chalk talk and indicated the trail would be +/- 5 miles
with mostly marked falses and one sketchy section….
The trail, in some respects, was decent.We received a real good tour of the
Hasidic section of Williamsburg (no Headlights that was not a ZZ Top cover
band).We got a great sense of the
dicey, poorly lit section of Brooklyn between Williamsburg and Clinton
Hill.We were able to get a true
insiders perspective on the all the exciting new construction being done on the
BQE.However, towards the 2/3
point of the trail, things went to complete shit.First, we were forced to spend a lot of time looking for
trail marks in Fort Greene Park, very close to the Prison Ship Martyrs Monument
(true fact – this 148’ obelisk serves as a memorial to the over 11,000 men,
women and children who died on horrible, overcrowded prison ships anchored in
Manhattan Bay during the Revolutionary War – supposedly some of the remains of
those people were interred in the tomb under the monument after their bones
began washing up on the shore in the late 1700’s).Upon finally tracking down the requisite trail markings, we
then proceeded back to Williamsburg, ultimately passing through the other
Hasidic section.Now, I admire
Hasidic people as much, if not more than the next person, mostly for their unimpeachable
moral fiber, tremendous personal hygiene and impeccable fashion sense, but
spending that much time in South Williamsburg was a little creepy and by the
end of the trail almost all of the hashers were in a horrible mood and
desperately in need of a cold beverage.As an aside, a 5 mile trail is a good way to thin the herd out and make
sure only suckahs show up for future BK hashes (or so the consensus on the
trail seemed to indicate)
The on-in, East River, had some considerable benefits and
some frustrating minuses.On the
plus side, it was a spacious room that was not crowded; additionally, there was
a respectable beer selection.Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, they had a working TV.On the negative side, there was a decided
lack of bathrooms and it seems we got reverse happy hour prices (sad hour
prices?) as hash cash was doneskis after 2.5 beers per-
As for the circle and down-downs:
To the Hare, Canine Fixation
To the no-show Hare, Barnacle (as referenced in Fuck Me I’m
Annoying’s incredibly detailed notes….”asshole”)
To the Visitor, Captain White Swallows, who supposedly hashes
in Guam.White Swallow appeared to
be a decent guy, but is unlikely to return as Headlights poured a down-down on
his head after he refused to take of his Bandanna during the circle….(you know
the old saying: you fuck with (Sloppy) Headlights, you get the Horns and the
PBR)
To the Virgin, Henry
To the Other Virgin, Unknown Person, who actually has hashed
in Manhattan but has never hashed in BK
To Dental Damned, who took a piss during the trail but
accidentally dribbled a tiny bit on himself.Note that Dental Damned confided this, in private, to
Melanie, who then immediately threw him under the bus and announced it to the
entire circle.Thanks a lot Melanie….won’t
forget that one-
And Rob was named Ivory Dickler for his pianoman skills from the previous hash
The evening ended with some well done pizza and a couple of
hashers having an old fashioned Big Buck Hunter Pro duel.
On-out and all the best to the Hashers running the
Marathon…..
