Dear Mom,
Thanks for telling me that you've found the hash web page and have been checking up on me by reading my writeups. As I mentioned, the writeups aren't really written for you and may not put my life in the best light from your perspective, so I thought I'd offer an explanation. Here are some details about what happens at a typical Brooklyn hash (For the twelfth time, that's just short for the hash house harriers). To put your mind at rest, here's where I was on February 7(Run 187):
Where we met: Franklin Ave. on the 2/3/4/5 (perfectly safe at rush hour)
Where we went: Mooney's (local, family-owned establishment)
Grown-up in charge: Stephen Balinskas (I should point out that we're all
grown-ups, but the hare of the evening
has to act especially adult and feed and pick up after us)
People I was with: twenty or so lovely people of all ages who like to run
together and socialize (trust me, you don't
want to know their names)
Due to delays on the subway I was a bit late to the start, but this group is used to that and kindly waited for me. In fact, the hare seemed overjoyed to see me, since he and a couple of other people I didn't know were the only ones at the designated meeting area. I couldn't believe that other people weren't coming, and sure enough, we found them waiting in the subway station keeping warm. Yes, it was freezing, but there were actually more hashers than usual for a cold winter night. All were properly bundled up of course. The people I didn't recognize were visitors, but they came with references from affiliated running groups from all over the world. I think Kigali and Amsterdam were represented. Before we started running, Stephen pointed out that the trail was likely to be icy, and we should be careful above all (as always).
We ran a lot around Prospect Heights and Crown Heights -- back and forth around Eastern Parkway. No, not the Crown Heights of the riots -- the other, beautiful, expensive area that I can't afford to live in. And, Eastern Parkway is not like the Garden State Parkway -- there is even a beautiful, well-lighted running path built down the center just for us. We ran past the Brooklyn Museum and the Botanical Gardens. We even doubled back to where we started, just in case anyone came late and wanted to join us. Local people on the street waved and encouraged us as usual when we passed. We may have even been tempted to run to other places where we wouldn't get in the way of the colorful business on the street, or perhaps to stop running in a straight line on Eastern Parkway, but the hare made sure to reign in our desires by keeping us to the assigned trail.
We finally ran all the way down Eastern Parkway and over to Mooney's, one of our usual hangouts. Waiting for us were all of our belongings and spring water, so we could change and wash before dinner. We then had our usual sing-along, thanking our hare, welcoming the new people and visitors, and meting out punishment to those who had misbehaved. I don't remember most of the offenses, but Joyce, for example, was caught running faster than usual on a non-hash day (see, we keep an eye out for hashers all over the city). With our policy of encouraging well-rounded hasher-athletes, we hope that she'll think twice before she races too much again without enough beer.
If you're really interested in the hash, you're welcome to join us. Some people bring their mothers along, and other people bring their kids (take their kids?). There's just a small initiation ceremony, nothing you can't handle. Hint: I bet you thought we didn't believe in the Virgin Mother, but come see for yourself! I know you don't like beer, but many of the bars we use in Brooklyn have Guinness, which we'd be happy to serve you. And if you are still trying get rid of the beer in your basement that you've had leftover for two years, bring it along; the hashers would be happy to help out.
If you'd rather not learn more, maybe we can go back to the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of how I spend most my free time. I realize you're no fool, but if you're worried about what the neighbors think, you can just tell people that I volunteer my time to a community organization and, as On Sec, I communicate our activities to our friends and supporters. Hey, I'd even put that on my résumé, but I'm not sure I can trust the references.
Your loving daughter,
Janet
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