Though it's been a month now, I can still remember some of those ice-illuminated
scenes through the haze and darkness, with mutant banshees hovering over the
blackened horizon, their screams for red blood and warm flesh echoing over the
Park. (No, this is not my description of a Harriettes hash, merely the effect
of my reading Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear & Loathing in America - The Gonzo Letters,
Volume II" going to and from work. Well, that's my excuse anyway.) It was a
cold, dark, frozen night with an eerily Beautiful almost Full Moon overhead.
I actually found the start like old home week, except I never liked home. My
Norwegian wench-friend Alison Hope (yes boys and girls, that really is her name)
was there, as was my "cousin" and Rome roommate Ron Nelson, and when a voice
from the corner inquired: Jerry?, I saw my friend Maria of Mojo's for the first
time since the place closed. And Mickey Mouth Karin was squeezing a last holiday
break hashing. So I at least started with a warm feeling. Ahhh!!! But the night
was still young, and many, including myself, had brought flashlights - "the
better to see you with my, Virgin Hashers!"
The run began somewhat predictably at first, making that inevitable excursion
into Riverside Park, down the hill and then North. We slid here and there but
it was fairly easy going if you weren't dumb enough to follow the FRB's all
the way down the hill. Then I believe we went to the corner of Morningside Park
(don't all runs nowadays) and then back into Central Park, or the Henry Stern
Profit Center, whichever you prefer. In CP things did get a bit challenging,
trying to find any of the 5 substances the hares used for marking the trail.
I mean, really Scot, jism doesn't show up well against snow.
I didn't use my light a lot, but strangely enough did find myself following
other people's lights frequently. This was largely due to the fact that finding
the trail wasn't as important as figuring where you could run without falling
on your bloody ass. [Translation for those of you who aren't familiar with Brits-Speak:
instead of saying "bloody ass," we would say "fucking ass," which could, of
course, be bloody if you fell on it. Enough of that rubbish, as Kyle is probably
already excited with all this anality.] It was actually a lovely winter's evening
& I had the strange urge to stay out in the park longer, but I would have missed
the On-In. And what an ON-IN-ON-ON it 'twas!!!!!!
We arrived at a bar named Hooligan's, which by some strange twist of fate was
both not extremely busy on that Friday and even had good bar grub (not to be
confused with food). And what a variety of foods; kids, you did good. "Good"
beer flowed steadily, and Sarah did a hostessing job that would make a Valkyrie
blush. But that would come later (pun intended) during the down-downs, and there
were many.
Not even Scot could be allowed the pompous pleasure of giving himself a down-down,
as to whatever he gives himself in the privacy of his own home is his business,
along with BCW, ASPCA & the PTA. [ed: PTA? Maybe Fluffy means PETA?] [2nd ed's
note: Fluffy confirms that he indeed meant PTA] After he and Sarah gargled their
beer we came to the Full Moons Virgins (editor, feel free to write in any I
forgot). There was Maggie and Mei (is a nod as good as a wink? [ed: to a blind
man it is] More on that later) and Mei's friend who actually did have a Rod
Stewart haircut. Then I believe Krista & Marta were virgins (once, anyway),
as was a young male whose name escapes me, as well as our visiting Orlando Hashers,
Shack Off Ron and a young Floridian whose name escapes me, but he didn't escape
fellow virgin Maggie, who returned with him on Sunday, but then never returned
again when he returned to Florida. I might add that Alison had already left
at this point as she didn't feel the ratio of her ex-hasher boyfriends was in
her favor.
There were also some going away down-downs for Mickey Mouth going back to school
and since going to England, for a while. From then on the only thing I remember
not being wild crazy and fun was Tiger's Woody Stacy leaving unusually early,
due to cold complications and simply being tired. And, the fun went on 'til
about 2AM, with the beer lasting that long. A fine job by the Hares and the
rest of us as well.