The
Greater Gotham Full Moon Hash
House Harriers
The
Deja Vu Hash
Friday July 14th,
2000
Information
about this, and other fine Metro area hashes, can be found on 212-HASH-NYC as
well as http://www.hashhouseharriers.com
JM / Hash Cash: "Cool Papa" Troise
Shadow JM Scot
Gleason
Choir/BeerMeister: Fluffy
TrailMaster: Back
Seat Box
Sergeant At Arms: Crazy Bob
Hare: John and Debbie and Melissa Schimke
Start: 96th and Central Park West
On-In: Cannon's Tavern, 106th and Broadway (nee Tap a Keg).
Scribe: Forgetful JM Mike Hoffman
The Eight
Step Program on How to use the Totally Amazing Up-Cumming Run-A-Lama Thing
1 - Admit
to yourself that you have no life and you are powerless to help yourself
2 - Give
yourself up totally to a higher power (the nearest JM will do)
3 - See
which upcoming nights you have free.
All of them, right? (Have you
met my friend Lou Zair?)
4 - Look
up said night against the first column of the T.A.U.C.R.A.L.T
5 - Look
across to the next column and see who is setting the trail. Determine whether or not you like this
person. If you can tolerate them, or
better yet, some other hasher you do like has already said "for sure"
they're going to go that night, then look over to the "Start" column
to find out where to turn up.
6 - If
the Hare column is "TBD" or "TBA" then ask yourself,
"I know I am a lazy sack and I have been mooching off the hash for years
letting everybody else do the donkey work while I just turn up and get drunk –
isn't it time I give something back and get off my ass and set a trail for a
change?" Yes, it is!
7 - If
there is a hare but there is no start, then the hare will wait until two days
before the hash to pick a location and guarantee a low turnout because nobody
will know where to go. Said hare will
blame Keith for "not updating the website fast enough."
8 - On
the day of the hash bring your smelly running clothes into work and try to
leave early without having everyone think you're going to an interview. Change in the bathroom and look like an berk
in front of your co-workers in the elevator.
News
Item
The
upcoming Full Moon "Big Brother" Hash (whereby everybody was going to
be locked inside a room with no books, no TV, no nudity no beer and a bunch of
annoying people) has been cancelled as this is already too much like our crappy
9-5 jobs as it is.
Shout
Outs
-
Congratulations to Mike and Kerry on their wedding tomorrow! If you want to bar crawl and meet up with
them, then turn up at 3:00pm at the Ginger Man on 36th St bet. Madison &
5th Ave for a crawl that Devo is setting.
You will meet up with Mike and Kerry on the top floor of Bliss Bar 49th
street & 2nd Ave around 6:30pm or
so.
-
Ariane – Good luck with your new job but too bad you have to go back to Belgium
for it … Keep on hashing and hopefully we'll see you soon again!
!!!!Now, On to
the Fooking Writeup Already!!!!
If Right Now, you are standing in
the middle of Cannon's Pub and reading this, I suggest we get some rope, some
wood, a big pole, a duck, and get ready for a bonfire. There's a witch
(warlock) among our midst and his name is Devo! (Hold on.... I said
"IF", so untie Devo, you blood-thirsty people!)
You see, last month we followed a
fantastic trail through Central Park, Morningside Park, Riverside Park, and
throughout the Upper West side. Perfect length, good checks, interesting
sights. The whole pack stayed fairly well together and finished in under an
hour. It's just a shame that the Hares (supposedly John and Debbie, but John
disclaimed all responsibility for the trail, and no memory of Debbie's friend)
had used nearly an exact copy of Devo's trail from the previous month (read
July's write-up for specifics and cut out the long trip across the ball fields,
the long trip along the stairs of Morningside, the long trip through Riverside
(do I detect a trend?), all of which came because of the near-impossible
checks!). [Plus, they had the exact
same start at 96th and CPW].
What is interesting, nay disturbing,
is that ***neither Hare, nor their helpers, had run or read about Devo's trail!***
Are you spooked yet? Good. It gets
better.
The On-In was Tap-a-Keg, which was
different from Devo's choice of Cannon's. But when we got there, the
bartendress was under the influence of some might evil spirits and decided that
she didn't want our business, didn't like the looks of us, didn't trust us not
to smash her pitchers or glasses, and generally wished we'd leave. Of course
she never said *exactly* those words, but her refusal to serve us even water
said plenty. I have no proof that Devo had connections to this woman, but her
surprising behavior led us on a quick search for a new On-In... and some force
directed us up the block to Cannon's, where we were greeted with open arms!
Now, I'm not one to believe in Ouiji
boards or the occult (Dionne Warwick hires welfare recipients to staff her
phone lines), but coincidences and circumstance just don't randomly occur this
frequently. Devo was nowhere to be found at the start, nor at Tap-a-Keg, but
once we moved to Cannon's, he magically and mysteriously appeared in the crowd.
After much rejoicing that Karaoke
night would not be repeating this Friday, we proceeded to the heavy drinking.
Full Moon tradition led to pizza not being served until quite late, but was
broken by a rousing chorus of "The Monks who pee", led by our new
"Shadow JM" Scot. (Note to Chris: didn't we get rid of this
stupidity? Maybe we need to rethink Scot's position. He may not be groomed
enough.) [Mike: While the Monks of St.
Bernard's is not an official Full Moon song (note its total absence from our
hymnal) some people still feel the need to sing this]
Down-downs were given, as always, after the pizza was eaten (no need to chug on an empty stomach), but only after a near revolt by the Hares and louder, pushier Hashers. Don't you people get it yet? The JMs decide when these things happen, not you. Geez, accept your place as the rabble you are and stop making trouble [also, there is no need to bail out hares who order pizza too soon]. The Hares received their due punishment, as did Devo, who's powers failed to get him out of chugging... or else led us to call him up there... hmmm... What seemed like a Thousand Virgins and visitors were introduced, and I must apologize lumping you together (usually you'd get separate mention, but I didn't have enough paper to write down all of your names) [and for those of you who believe that excuse, hash cash is $25]. We also had our first 3-time winner of Horse's Ass: Junior!, who decided that the service at Tap-a-Keg was bad enough it turned him on, so he was last to leave. Any sadists out there?
In honor of the 3-time Asshole, a
game of Asshole broke out! Nice to have JM Chris around again [I don't get
where this comes from – in the last two years I've missed about 2 Full Moon
hashes and the last one was due to the birth of my child! I hardly think missing one hash merits a
"nice to have you around again"
You know, because of this, I just might not turn up tonight!!!]. A few rounds and we were drunk before hash
cash ran out. That's the sign of a good game!
As I headed out the door, I looked
back and swear I saw Devo disappear in a puff of smoke. Look around you now. Is
he there? Are you at Cannon's again?
Burn,
baby, Burn!
Parenthesis and
Such Count
Number of "()": 13
Number of "[]": 5
Number of "()" inside "[]": 1
Number of "[]" inside "()": 0
The Full Moon Hash Hymnal
Here’s to Brother Hasher
(Sung to the tune of "My left testicle is killing me")
Here’s to brother hasher, brother hasher, brother hasher
Here’s to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug.
He’s happy, he’s jolly,
He’s fucked up by golly
So here’s to brother hasher may he chug-a-lug
Drink it down down …
(Sung to the tune of "Mickey Mouse")
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail, (Shitty trail!)
Shitty trail, (Shitty trail!)
The mother fucker gave us shitty trail!
I would rather drink some beer, Than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I, T-T-Y, T-R-A-I-L
Drink it down down …
(let's assume the person's name is "Joe Blow")
Joooooe Blow,
Joooooe Blow,
Joooooe Blow is a Horse’s Ass
He’s the meanest,
Sucks the biggest penis
Joooooe Blow is a Horse’s Ass
[Optional 2nd refrain]
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
Joooooe Blow is a Horse's Ass
Drink it down down …
Consider
Yourself
Consider yourself, On-In
Consider yourself, One of the Harriers
We’ve taken to you
So strong
Its true, we’re, going to get along.
Drink it down down …
(Tune: The Flintstones)
Hashers, meet the Hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history.
From the hash of Gotham,
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years.
Watch them, as they down a lot of beers.
Drink it Down down, down down down down,
The Beer Prayer
Our lager, which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the porter, the stout,
And the pilsner, For ever and ever. Barman!