The trail started late for me (War and Peace of Shit) WPOS. I arrived at the 68th street station (my alma mater; Hunter College) That is when my hashoween nightmare started. The was to start at the St. James church on 71st and Madison Ave. I saw a mark on 68th and park. unfortunately it let me to a dead end. Keep in mind that my costume was that of a disabled veteran; with a sign that read " Will Hash for Beer". Few people in the street actually read the sign that way. Most read it as " I'm poor and hungry will work for food". Sad, so sad... Well anyway; I was lost in GOTHAM City for 40 minutes that's right hashers 40 minutes. I only saw 6 hash marks and on "F". What could this strange mark mean? Fooled?, Fucked, False, Family trail, Fabulous trail, Fornicate? There were some nice hotties out there by Hunter College so fornication was on my mind. I'm a hasher the beer must be found. I took the "F" as false.
Central Park West, East, North, South? Hell I don't know. I saw this other disable Vet sleep on the street with a pack arrow near him which lead to central park. Somehow I stumbled onto ths trail. Into central park I went the time 8:30ish. Must regroup and tinkle. Finally I see hash marks (flour) it runs south towards this park were one (WPOS) must hop the fence and slide down this kiddie slide and run over a brigde. Boy is this fun... A black man hoping fences with a flashlight wearing a camoflage uniform with a backpack on and a sign dangling from my neck looking for flour markings that are on the ground. I was definitely a candidate for Racial Profiling this night.
Deep into central park I ran; to the left, to the right, around the lake too. I stumbled apon some Buggars (bums) and I looked just like them and smelled like them too after all of this running. I asked them for a frosty and yes I got one! After my down down with them I asked the lead Buggar if he'd seen any hashers running through the park and he said they passed here almost an hour ago. I took off on trail again looking for pack marks or something.
Deeper into the park I ran. While running along the horse trail I heard the piter pater of tiny little claws scurring across me into the woods. Is looked down to see what it was, could it be a squirrel?, a rabbit? are there rabbits in New York City?, Racoon maybe? My mind was in full flux now! What the hell did I see...... Could it be...... my fears were right. it was a RAT a BIG FAT JUICY RAT... I yelled at the top of my lungs On! On! in hopes of scurring the littles city creatures.
They were all around me running behind me too I think. I never looked back, Oh my Great Reliogous Advisor they're everywhere; eating the flower trying to get me lost in the park with no chance of ever getting out alive. There were however several areas in the park where lone gentlemen were standing in the dark (I wonder why) How come the rats did not bother them? I guess the rats like to watch, but I ain't hanging around; faster I ran; heavy breathing from the chilled air I ponered " When the hell am I gonna get out of this rat infested park latent with 60 year old sugar daddys".
One Rat caught up to me and told me to take the trail marked with the letter "B" I screamed took the brown rats advice and followed the hares "B" trail (short trail) this got me out of the park. I ran passed a big giant baseball encase in a glass building. Coulda been 89 feet tall. Now on 81st street sweating I really looked homeless, more people staring at me thinking "homeless" .
I finally found the On home(2 hrs later) a bar called Ozzie Bear. Got laied (white one), Had a total hash bash. A good time was had by all. Plenty of down downs, dancing, and more down downs. Waitresses and harrietts on the bar dancing and getting ree drinks and cash.
Honors to the Hares Elaine, Pat, Scott, and Elliot. The rats were a nice touch to the trail for Halloween, How did you get them to stay on trail? Mmmmmmmmmm?