I think having to switch the clocks forward at 2:00am on the morning of April 1st is nature's own cruel little April Fools Day joke. I had visions of Andonov turning up at the start at 4:00pm saying "Hey, where is everybody?" But a pack of 30 or so, including Andonov, showed up under the giant NADSAQ sign in Times Square at the appointed hour for this, the latest chapter of the Elaine Kerr Death March. Who were the fools in this picture? You see Elaine has a penchant for trying to inject some creativity to her trails. This being April 1st, who knew what was in store for us? And true to form, Elaine promptly announced, "The checks are mostly back-checks…in fact, they're all back-checks.

As we set off in a northerly direction, I overheard Andonov asking, "How will we know if it's a back-check?" I figured that's the last we'd see of him. We hadn't gone a half a block before we came to a check in the middle of Times Square. After a moment of confusion, we realized that that was actually the start location…an auspicious start indeed. The pack continued in a northerly direction and hadn't gone another block when BAM! We heard this tremendous crashing sound. There, lying on the sidewalk was Jesse. Standing over Jesse was a small, terrified Asian woman. Jesse had wiped out her entire display of artwork, including her chair and easel. We hadn't even made it a block from the start…a bad omen.

We made our way through Times Square and came to the first check, which, of course, was not a back-check at all. April Fools! We continued north and east through midtown until we came to the second check. Having sussed the method of Elaine's madness, yours truly continued in an easterly direction. Unfortunately for me, this one actually was a back check. The trail continued north into the park at 59th and 6th. Having had one "front-check" and one "back-check" on this "back-check only" trail, the pack was completely at a loss as to what to do next. After several minutes "On-on" was heard further north. Apparently someone had found…the next check. No marks leading up to it…just the check. Continuing north, the trail crossed the 72nd street transverse. Crofty and I spotted Daniel giving directions to a couple of tourists in car who had obviously strayed into the park. And who says all Germans are all mean and nasty? (More about this later).

The trail continued north through the park before exiting at 77th street. We turned south and west and before you knew it, we were standing in front of Malachy's at 72nd and Columbus. Surely this was some evil April Fool's Day joke. 33 minutes…and with the pack still mostly together. But it was true.

Once inside we had the back of the bar all to ourselves. We settled down to some bar snacks and commenced with the down-downs. One for hares, Elaine and Crazy Bob. It was sort of anti-climactic if you know what I mean. Dave "Too" Long got the ears for being first in. We had three new virgins (from the Department of Redundancy Dept.), Sarah, Jennifer, and Julie. I told Sarah we already had two Sarah's and how did she feel about being called "Amy"? She countered that we should get rid of one of the other Sarahs. I think she'll fit in just fine. (By the way, Sarah Fifield, since you weren't there to defend yourself and Sarah from Downunder was…you're out).
The Crofty award went to Jesse for…well, you already know what for. Ewa got her down-down for having a severe setback this weekend. After running a P.R. 2:52:43 (8:41/mile) for the PowerBar 20 last weekend, she ran the Join the NYRRC Five-Miler in 46:49 gross/46:38 net. (Notice how the local elite runners get to start right up front, only 11 seconds difference between gross & net times, while the rest of slowpokes have to start in the back). Anyway, that's 9:19/mile, a far cry from the blistering 8:41 for 20 miles the week before. To top it all off, she ran the Backwards Mile in over 23:00 and came in dead last. I'm sure you are all as surprised by this regression in performance as I am.

Ed Lynch also ran a race on Sunday. He won a trophy (we're not sure what age group)…but was evidently more excited about the fact that he was able to purloin 5 bagels without being apprehended. Speaking of apprehended, it turns out the guys in the car weren't tourists at all. They were some of NYC's finest, just wondering what Daniel was doing peeing on a rock in broad daylight in one of the busiest parks in the country?

Daniel, Tim and the aforementioned virgin, Julie, got theirs for doing some extra miles after the run. Apparently Elaine's trail was too short. Michele got a down-down for wearing new shoes. She defended her shoes by claiming that she actually wore them last week. So we gave her a belated down-down for last week. At least she was smart enough to take the offensive shoes off and slip into something more comfortable, and that wouldn't hold beer, before the down-downs started.

The AOTW award was a tough choice this week. There were so many outstanding candidates. Without Roy to give counsel, I turned to the audience for assistance. The nominees for AOTW were:

Jesse
Ewa
Ed Lynch
Daniel
Jesse

Seeing as he made up 40% of the field, no one was surprised when Jesse won by a landslide…no matter how loudly he cheered for Ewa. Jesse took his punishment like a man. There was only one problem. He was in such denial over the fact that he won, that it never occurred to him to remove his cap. This may be the first time we gave the AOTW to the same guy twice in one week.

A good trail followed by a good On-in. Eventually the money ran out. I don't think the pack would have cleared out of the bar faster had someone shouted "Fire". And I thought all you guys were in it for the camaraderie?

On On