Redemption is something that we have all looked for at some time in our lives. We have all done something that we feel the need to make amends for, or to atone for. A large portion of most religions is dedicated to the concept of redemption. Growing up as a repressed Protestant I was always struck by the fact that in the Catholic church you could have fun committing sin and then cleanse yourself through the ritual of the Confessional. As I became older I realized that the Jewish faith was probably even better than the Catholic in this regard; in Judaism you can fool around all year and then redeem yourself through one Day of Atonement. This, coupled with the large number of holidays that that religion offered, almost led to my conversion! But then I discovered the Hash, and running and drinking became my religion. It never occurred to me that the concept of redemption would have to be applied to the Hash. But there we were, after a summer that contained more than its fair share of badly marked long trails and general screw-ups, looking for someone to redeem the Hash.
Thus Jonathan and Marie were cast in the role of saviors and burdened with the hopes and dreams of the hashing community. Would the shoulders of these two veterans be broad enough for the load? Would their moral fiber be of sufficient quality? Are they pure enough of heart for redemption? Who writes this crap? We would see.
For myself the run began on a somewhat discouraging note when strolling to the start I was almost run over by a pretty, petite Chase Manhattan (er, Chemical?) banker who also runs ultramarathons, and the following exchange ensued:
David: Hi Marie, getting in a few extra miles before the Hash? Marie [looking very tired and somewhat disheveled]: You don't want to know. David: What do you mean? Marie: Well actually I'm the co-hare. David [with a big grin]: Well you look like you're enjoying it! Marie: I don't know how Jonathan talked me into this! I think it's definitely too long. David: So I've heard, but what about the trail? Marie: Well that's kind of long also.
With sinking spirits I debated whether to simply return home to a quiet night in front of the TV or to continue to the start. However, since the alien autopsy was not showing that night I decided to continue with the slightly stranger experience of going on a hash. I was glad I did.
The run was good! Jonathan and Marie came through! The Hash is redeemed! Sure, the run was a bit long, but not overly so. The trail was well marked and the checks were not too difficult. The course was basically a loop, into the park, over to the West side, across and down through Riverside Park and then back through Central Park. To spice things up the Hares had arranged for stone walls to be placed at various points on the trail, thus testing the climbing abilities of the pack. The only really tricky part came in trying to find the trail back through Central Park in the dark. There I was fortunate to fall in with Laird whose uncanny night vision gives him the ability to spot two grains of flour on a tree at a distance of two hundred yards. I've no idea how everybody else managed!
The On-In wound through its usual course, with plenty of cheap tasteless beer, surly bartenders and the weekly pizza ration. Fresh from her role in the Ionic toothbrush Infomercial one of the female hashers was making a concerted effort to move to the next level of stardom by touting her talents as the "perfect woman to jump from the cake" at Jerry's upcoming bachelor party. She proceeded to demonstrate her talent by means of some sexy gyrations that certainly left the watching male hashers salivating for some "cake". In keeping with his plan to celebrate each day of freedom before his nuptials, Jerry sent Katherine packing early, and hung out drinking beer to the early hours of the morning (well 12:30 AM. anyway!).
So well done Jonathan and Marie! You proved that a decent trail is possible. You also proved that the Hares can be praised in a write-up. On-On.