West Side Story - Part 2
'Twas on a fair and fine February afternoon when the NYCH3 gathered in droves on the Upper West Side just safely south of Harlem to welcome home those brave, spirited, sometimes sober wrecks of humanity known collectively as the "Dog's Bollocks Hash" on their return from their inaugural runs (induced by copious intakes of fine ales and curry !) They came to hear travelers tales of heroic deeds (how much beer could there have been in that bucket ?), wondrous sightings (Hard-On's amazing display for the boys) and epic feats of endurance (Go SpewFucker, you animal !). Or had they come to see Guiley leave ?
Who knows (or who even cares ?) But here they were, eagerly anticipating another landmark trail from the departing JM. (Some of us old-timers fondly remember the famous Summer Solstice run some years ago - Rumor has it that there are some long forgotten hashers still out there ! Could it be mere coincidence that his fellow conspirators then were here today). Gathered at 98th & Broadway (outside the now vacant Guiley Mansion) when the Hare appeared ! Instructions followed: "Carry your bags 2 blocks south to......the On-In !" Two blocks - not bad ! What a trail ! Even Sung-Hee could run that ! (OK - one short rest maybe !) We would be in the bar in record time!
Not quite - as it turned out the On-In was to be the START ! Breaking all NYCH3 tradition this was to be an A to A, a practice observed across the pond at hashes visited by the DBH3. Not a bad idea - short cutting is made easier when you start at the end, and no cumbersome Hot Line setting required (take note, Keith, since Hot Line technology seems beyond you even though you own the damn phone). So, at the Start, we all set off to follow a trail which we knew would end where we had just come from - Where's the fun in that ? Again I reminisce back to the Summer Solstice, when a red faced Chuck Dougan entered the On-In 3 hours after the start, threatening the lives of the Hares. Now that was fun !
But today I guess we were to act like honest Hashing citizens and pretend that we were doing the actual trail. Actually, I think I did much of the first half, taking in the inevitable visit to Central Park after ambling around the West Side for a while. On exiting the park after about 40 minutes, and finding a check somewhere on 95th street, it seemed incredible to me that when I did pick up the trail, it was leading directly back to the Start ! What luck ! It seemed as though pure Hashing instinct was leading me in the right direction. Apparently I had sadly missed the actual trail (which went west to Riverside Park, probably across the Hudson through Maine and back) and found quite by accident trail marks leading to the beer!
So here I was back in the now famous Dive Bar, site of Hashers in `gear' at New Year's Eve, awaiting the arrival of the pack which was not far behind. Most of us seem to have similar Hashing instincts ! Today our New Year venue was back to being simply a Dive Bar - a good Hash venue - good beer at cheap prices with a who-gives-a-shit ambiance. Who could ask for more ?So on with the Down Downs - one virgin, Donald, a couple of New Shoes ( Sung-Hee, you should take yours back - they're too slow, man) and finally to the big event - goodbye to Doug, the "Kept Man", departing the city that never sleeps to become a full time beach bum on the West Coast (and future host to the DBH3 ?) I guess we were lucky that he didn't take the trail from his old home to his new - perhaps next Summer Solstice. Doug, you will be missed (perhaps) and good luck in your new position (I recommend page 57). Bugger Off !
Out with the old and in with the new - Marie takes over as JM to stand in the shadow of DB2. All in all, a good excursion to the upper West Side. Hash Cash was a mere $15 ! What a bargain ! (A quick note from Hash Cash himself to all you tight arsed Hares who quaff at yours truly when I come to collect my dues - $20 per hash is the current sum collected which pays for fixed costs such as Hash Hot Line, my rent etc. and helps to subsidize special events such as Sancta Lucia, Friday nights in the pub and my trip to London. This works out to less than 50c per hasher, so stop complaining and pay up ! I need a vacation !) The A to A run seemed to be a success - I don't think Guiley lost a single Hasher ! What other traditions can we import from the UK hashes ? How about some buckets of fine ale - or a few of those amazing displays for the boys?
Bugger Off !
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