Hash - Run #895, July 16, 2001
Hare- Dave Long
Start -14th & 7th
On In- Flannery's, 14th & 7th
Scribe - Heather Malloy

Despite Mercury finally wrenching itself out of an extended retrograde cycle, [for an explanation of the hazards of said cycle, please refer to an earlier CH writeup], nothing has bothered to begin functioning normally. I mean, look at the stock markets. A record number of rate reductions have managed to pretty much backfire. Blackouts are threatening both coasts. The elevators in my building were obviously stolen from the movie "Speed." And in terms of the Hash, the hareline had not recovered from Ewa's stint as hareraiser; there being no hare of record until the last possible second, when JM Dave was forced to step in. And that right there is another thing guaranteed to not work as planned.

Of course, I showed up anyway, but was in a narrow minority. Only about fifteen people gathered at the start at 14th and 7th, right in front of Flannery's, from which establishment Dave emerged swearing up and down that it wasn't an A-to-A. There were two virgins, so Dave launched into a very long explanation of how to run a hash trail, complete with a very precise demo of every kind of arrow and false trail mark. All of this fuss would lead one to believe that all of these marks would have been used to set the trail. Naturally, this was not the case.

"Too" Long sent us off northwest toward Union Square, where we quickly came to the end of the trail. This turned out to be because we were following Baldwin, not flour. We switched into reverse and headed up to Madison Square, and a check. The trail did go back to Union Square via a different route, but not before detouring around Gramercy Park, which was a giant circle jerk. It took a solid twenty minutes for this to dawn on our little gathering of the Mensa society, by which time the pack was irreparably separated into solo runners and the occasional twosome. I was standing around hoping to hear an "on-on" when Martin, who disappeared to Zurich about this time last year, suddenly appeared. We finally found trail headed down to Union Square, and past Luna Park, which was packed with B&T singles. From there, I thought we'd just run back to Flannery's after perhaps one more check, but I forgot whom we were dealing with. Instead, Dave put down a check in the middle of the south Union Square bomb site (another Mercurial hangover), which we solved heading down to Washington Square park. (Three out of three totally cliched downtown check locations covered.) The trail then squeezed down MacDougal through throngs of tourists and NYU summer students before twisting through the winding streets of the west village, and over to the West Side Highway before disappearing at another check. At this point, I ditched Martin and started heading straight up to Flannery's. I had a pang of guilt as I accidentally passed trail and a few hashers along the way, but the trail was getting damn long, so I got over it.

Upon arrival, I spotted John Burke outside, not looking sweaty at all, and without a single groupie. Maybe they didn't know about the end of Mercury's cycle? Fearing a plague of frogs, or some else equally biblical that usually accompanies events this rare, I ducked inside to get a beer, and to try to beat Sarah to the bathroom. As it turned out, no rushing was necessary, as Sarah had more than enough room for her collapsible wardrobe and makeup cabinet. Once we all had an opportunity to get hypothermia from the AC, and after pizza arrived and was consumed, "Too" Long finally dragged himself up to give out down-downs. I suppose it was too much of an effort for him to write down the offenses, but it was definitely too much of an effort for me to write them down. The only ones I remember are Martin and Melissa getting a joint down-down, and Melissa getting AOTW, and then only because it was my idea. Beyond that, it was an unusually subdued Wednesday, which led Martin to complain quite a bit, and to Studgate going home early. Only DB2 seemed to really have a great time, with two typo-ridden writeups to shred. On out.