The papers were full of stories predicting record-setting snowfall, it was a SKASH weekend, they'd evacuated Seabright. Despite it all, I had to get off of my nice, comfortable sofa and go to the hash. I called the hotline, and got directions to Queens for Monday. I called back, just to make sure that my brain hadn't spasmed at just the wrong moment. Nope, nothing listed for Sunday. Normally, this would be a perfectly good excuse to collapse back on the couch with a glass of port and a pile of Warren Miller videos, cursing Keith all the while, but since Christine was off gallivanting around Vermont, I was stuck. I plugged in the laptop, connected to the internet, and immediately blew the power out in my apartment. Now I also had a good excuse to avoid doing any work, which was like carte blanche to drink myself silly at the hash since I had to go anyway, but I still had to get there. I headed out to Kinkos, and to my horror, discovered that in addition to the abandonment of Seabright, we'd have to contend with a virgin hare.

Great. I'd have to snowshoe an eight mile disaster of a trail, stay sober enough to remember something about the day, and find an electrician on a Sunday night.

A very small number of people had taken similar pains, if the very small pack gathered at the Grand Central information booth was any indication. To my relief, Roy was present, so I wouldn't have to waste any brain space thinking up down-down offenses. As Andrew and Danny stripped down to shorts, (daring Mother Nature is never a good idea), Sara circled the pack, keeping her radar tuned for her arch-bathroom-nemesis, Lipstick Leslie. When she was satisfied that her rival was not in evidence, we dragged our bags outside, and took off south, finding the first check just above the Park Avenue tunnel entrance. While we were looking for trail, Mother Nature noticed the shorts, and it began to snow. Lucky for Paul and Sara, it had been far too warm of late for the snow to stick, so we had no trouble finding their marks, and the trail. We headed east, and quickly encountered the next check, which led us to a false up the Tudor City steps. Back down and north, we hit another check, and headed north again. The next check lured us up again, and led Jesse over the highway, before heading north yet again. Big surprise, we eventually ran to Central Park, and more checks, before turning east on 72nd Street, to an eventual tequila check at Sara's apartment. Her husband was manning the booze and keeping our dirty feet out of the bedroom (from which room part of a very racy photo of Sara was half exposed, pardon the pun), and directing traffic back out to the street. A quick loop around the block had us on-in to the Mug Shot in no time. A good thing, as the stop in the warm building made the air outside seem fatally cold by comparison. In all, a surprisingly good and well-marked trail.

In honor of our virgin hare, Jesse repaired to the bathroom for a full clothing change, while everyone else made use of the pool room. Andrew seemed to feel especially at home, and stripped off EVERYTHING right out in the open, which caused Fireman Bob (he of the lips planted on Ed's nekkid butt, which one would think made him shock-proof) to scream, causing everyone else to look, which then caused a mad scramble for the beer. Once everyone was a bit tranquilized, wings and really good fries appeared, and Roy started the down downs.

After the hares, Roy tried to call up Danny and Andrew for running in shorts, but Andrew had ducked out the the Starbucks across the street, so Danny drank alone. Lipstick Leslie drank for something that I can't remember. Someone else drank for something-or-other. There may have been a few virgins, or maybe a visitor. Andrew returned, and wound up drinking for the shorts, the nudity, AND for abandoning the circle for overpriced coffee. Ewa got one for buying a $16 (!) plunger, and for squawking "Why Are We Waiting" every time someone drank.
As we settled down to watching basketball and eating the rest of the fries, Chann overheard the following [ed: names have been changed to protect the identities of the alleged participants]: Eyeshadow Eileen: (giggle) Ooooh, my brother is a lawyer. I love lawyers. (giggle, titter) Pizza Hogging Bastard: So, you like me because I have brains and bucks, huh?