UNLEASHING THE INNER BUNNY WITHIN: A PERSONAL TAIL -- by Christine Hinz

Rabbits are by nature, mischievous, quick and always on the lookout for fun. Just look at some of the famous rabbits from the past for examples -- Peter Rabbit, Roger Rabbit, and Bugs Bunny. Perhaps this is why hashers around the globe gravitate to the hare as icon, rather than a droopy-jawed hound. And perhaps why, after a certain number of hashes, one's "inner bunny" becomes fully realized. I believe that this Sunday, I finally unleashed my "inner bunny" and want to thank those friends of mine on the hash who helped lead me through my ritual passage - and made sure I was able to come out the other end to tell the "tail." Here is my testimonial…

Arriving at the scene of the start of the hash high on endorphins, L-Tryptophan and caffeine from running a pre-Thanksgiving Turkey Trot and drinking copious amounts of coffee afterwards, I immediately had a rushing feeling of mischievousness that I haven't experienced since the first night I ever hashed.

As this hard-core group of hardened hashers awaited the countdown to begin disrobing at a chilly start, I succeeded in my first mischievous act by convincing Crofty to run in his shorts to prove his manhood, rather than in his warm and protective woolies. Little did I know that this small action was nothing compared to the roguish act he'd commit on trail (marking his territory, so to speak). Yet, who was I kidding, Crofty has been tapped into his "inner bunny" for years and I was just reaching the full potential within. But I'm getting ahead of myself and I need to discuss how I almost killed Danny.

Yes, I almost killed Danny! Right at the start of the run, too, when the pack had to jump a wrought-iron fence. Danny was the first to firmly position himself on the fence, and I should have given him the space he needed to swing his right leg over to the other side and be on his way. But instead, I jumped on the fence at the same time that he was swinging his leg around, causing him to whirl backwards and nearly crack open his head on the pavement. In an effort to assist, I tried to grab him (by the crotch, no less) but restrained myself as a Virgin looked on, mortified. Danny laughed, and in a nimble maneuver, flipped back over and was on his way scurrying up a hill on trail, escaping my admittedly dangerous and second mischievous act, just like in the cartoons.

Now, I'm not actually sure where we ran, but we were in an area called Marble Hill. Not feeling myself, and already wrecking havoc, I opted for the Chicken trail and led hashers Tim, David and another male Virgin far away from the perils of the Eagle trail. We flitted about, here and there; randomly deciding whether or not to mark the check or let the Eagles enjoy the fun for themselves and I realized that being a Chicken really has its upsides. You can mis-mark a check just for the fun of it, not mark it at all for the hell of it, as well as arrive to the on-in well ahead of the majority of hashers to get a good head start on the beer.

At our cozy gem of an on-in (called Pourings, I think), we sipped Sam Adams and Octoberfest brews and pondered the possibility of whether our visitor from Russia, Arse-inic and Black Lace, would finish the trail. As we awaited her arrival (male hashers especially), and staved off a mad-rush for the "Best Burgers in 'da Bronx," Roy and Peter gave down-downs.

First up were Roy and Ewa for their trail followed by those who ran the race in Central Park that morning, including John Lynch and Debbie, Dave Long, DB2, Michele, Ewa and myself, but these were quickly taken away since "We don't reward hashers for running races," as stated by J.M. Gilbert. That's when DB2 and I were brought up with Lesley and Peter for missing the start or sleeping in altogether. "Good hashers," stated Mr. Gilbert, and we drank to that.

This is when I really began to feel my "inner bunny" kick in and was able to get our newest semi-regular, Dan, to grab a pitcher of beer intended for down-downs and give me a full refill. He paid the price with his own down-down, bringing the count of mischievous acts up to about four or five. Then Virgins were initiated and Crofty was given a down-down his aforementioned pissing on trail, while new hash addition Sara from Australia was brought up for insisting on doing a full change into her disco clothes after the trail, leaving the rest of us in our running gear and old sweats feeling inadequate and underdressed.

Unbeknownst to me, it was at this moment that my life would change forever, as I was brought up and recognized by my fellow hashers for my front-running ways on the Chicken trail and was bequeathed with the rabbit ears. As I chugged down that beer, it gave me a moment to dig deep and fully realize all the wonderful possibilities and implications of connecting with my "inner bunny." As I fully basked in the glory, Alice received the AOTW Award for chickening out of the trail altogether, then deciding to go for a run on her own, then coming back to the on-in dead last, as always.

Now, having fully tapped into the bunny within, the rest of the evening was a bit of a blur, which apparently is pretty common for someone experiencing his or her "inner bunny" for the first time. As I can best recall, I tried showing off my non-existent tail to several male hashers, insisted on taking cocktail orders for John and Peter and later tried, but failed, to have a serious conversation with DB2 and Lesley - about what, I don't know. But what I do recall is that I had to keep telling DB2 to look into my eyes when he spoke to me, and not at my…ears. Then several old-timers who have been fully tapped into their "inner bunnies" for quite some time and are better able to stay in control of their behavior introduced me to some other typically mischievous acts, such as refilling Alice's plunger full of beer, which she had comfortably perched at the base of her neck with the handle shoved down the back of her sweatshirt.

It was then that Ed Lynch arrived fresh from the Philly Marathon and was given a late on-in down-down for his 26.2 and both he and David Godbold were punished for overindulging in the burgers. Then, I was summoned up again for my obvious "mind-bunnying" experience.

When the beer ran out, a majority of us headed to the subway and I practiced my "come hither" bunny ear moves on Crofty, while Virgin and fellow Park Sloper Christa was asked to make sure I got home alright. Now, as I come to the end of telling the tail of my "inner bunny" experience I can only hope that others follow and enjoy the path that I have chosen. Bunnies rule. And once you tap into the power of your "inner bunny," hashing will never be the same. Never. On-on.