New York City Hash House Harriers Writeup, Marathon Sunday, November 1, 1998

Start: 86th St. & 5th Ave. On-In: Just past Mile 23. On-On-In: Jake's Dilemma, 82nd St. & Amsterdam Ave

Hare: Trisha Hoffman. Scribe: Mike Hoffman

The most grueling race in the world is a marathon. What makes these people think their bodies are built to run for 26.2 miles? Don't they realize that no other animal puts that much pressure on their bodies? The human body was not created to absorb the constant pounding, the heavy exertion, the lack of rest periods or fuel replenishing. Yet, every year more and more runners try to tempt fate and run the NYC Marathon. Godspeed to them, crazy ass bastards one and all.

There is something slightly more grueling than running a marathon. That is: watching a marathon being run! Especially one of this size. The front runners are easy to spot, but move to fast to really get a good look. Then comes the continuous blur of the sub 3:30 group, again moving just fast enough so the eyes focus after the person has passed. By the time the pace slows to a visible point, the crowd is so tightly packed that your Mother could pass by and you wouldn't recognize her. Yet, every year we show up and cheer for those runners lucky enough to catch our eye. Constant cheering hides the fact that we have no idea who we are cheering for. Crazy we're not... just damn strange!

But its an annual tradition to go out and support those runners and we gladly show up each year at Mile 23. Not to feel totally lazy, there is always a pre-watch Hash. This year it started at 86th St & 5th Ave. Trisha set a beautiful trail of roughly 3 miles through the North woods of Central Park. Running under, and over, the colorful foliage, we meandered through every wooded section of Central Park outside of the Ramble. (3 out of the past 4 hashes have been in Fall woods. Might this be a sign of the Hash having an artistic eye? Might the hares have actually put thought into the surroundings of their run and chosen colors over grey and black streets?) The trail wrapped around the now-closed North Meadow and ended at the 23rd Mile where our keg was supposed to be awaiting. Instead we waited, and waited, and waited, until John Burke finally showed up about an hour later.

The afternoon started out nice and sunny (much better than last year!). Soon, though, the clouds came in and a chilling breeze picked up. Maybe the breeze was those front runners, I'm not sure. The beer tapped out within 2 hours (a Hash spectator record) and Chris and Jimmy (Elvis twins) volunteered for the mercy mission of obtaining more. Good men those two! The 40s they returned with were well received by the remaining spectators. At 3:00, many people gave up watching and headed for the warmth of the just opening On-In. By 4:00, the crowd was half-size; and at 4:30 a bunch more of us split for Jake's Dilemma.

As NYers we consider ourselves lucky to live in this great city. However, the pleasure comes with its responsibilities, as hare Trisha found out. One of the visiting marathoners had left his wife at Mile 23 and she supposedly would not leave until he returned. His wobbly legs meant she would be waiting for a VERY LONG time. Poor Trisha stepped up for this mercy mission and ran back to get her, alone. Poor Trisha.... the wife showed up about 5 minutes after Trisha had left. Since neither of this misplaced pair said anything to her once she returned, I'll take this space and say "Thanks Trisha!"

The On-In was a typical Jake's On-In. Much drinking, much eating, tons of talking, more drinking, a bit of pool, a bit of fool's ball, more drinking, some darts, and finally more drinking. There was a ceremony at some point, but I seem to have missed it. Probably too busy watching the Jets win a squeaker against KC. (YIPPEE!!!!) Having taken over Hash Cash during Trisha's expedition, I think I met nearly everyone. Visitors from up and down the East Coast as well as Buffalo and California. Everyone seemed to enjoy our hospitality. The only complaint: no singing. Ah well, you can't please everyone.

There were familiar "faces" from last year, especially the small group from Boston area. Yes, Studfinder returned with her contingent of Northern naked hashers. If you didn't recognize her early on, you certainly should have when she decided to streak the bar. Last year, she performed a silver-veiled dance. This year she dropped the act and just paraded around. Truthfully, I liked last year better. Speaking of nudity, Rick mooned the crowd while running past. Some things are definitely better left to the imagination...or ignored entirely! At least he kept his stomach hidden for most of the night.

As the hour grew late and the marathoners stiff-leggedly left, I felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of energy expended during the day. Before collapsing under its weight, I bid "Adieu" to those remaining and headed home. From what I understand, the party continued on late into the night. A marathon On-In for a Marathon Day. Perfect... Crazy... and a little bit Strange.

------------------------The Craziest of the Crazy-----------------------------

Overall
Place
Sex
Place
NameSex/AgeAge PlaceTimeCity
559529Hardy, DavidM372602:55:07NEW YORK
762 729 Kolman, Stephen M M32 347 2:58:52 NEW YORK
917 879 Humnicky, William M27 213 3:01:19 NEW YORK
1155 1110 Chann, Ricky M28 262 3:05:24 NEW YORK
1205 1158 Feinsod, Jeffrey M M31 555 3:06:11 NEW YORK
1263 1213 Petkovich, Slobodan B. M31 581 3:07:12 VALLEY COTTAGE
1973 1869 Long, David M32 840 3:15:33 NEW YORK
2309 134 Wickham, Marie F. F43 26 3:19:05 NEW YORK
3200 2972 Bencivenga, Joseph W. M32 1281 3:25:56 WHITE PLAINS
5506 536 Slemp, Leslie S. F32 242 3:39:29 NEW YORK
5887 608 Brough, Lesley F34 270 3:41:30 NEW YORK
8416 1040 Szubert, Susan F26 362 3:52:29 NEW YORK
12794 10849 Nelson, Jerry A M43 1880 4:08:42 BROOKLYN
15443 12822 Croft, David B M40 2207 4:18:52 NEW YORK
16271 13425 Cloud, Vincent T M51 1183 4:22:00 NEW YORK
19495 3911 McVeigh, Kerry J F28 1345 4:34:46 BREEZY POINT
20172 4129 Juzen, Ariane F37 1704 4:37:43 NEW YORK
24357 18628 Weiss, Norman J M56 709 4:57:29 NEW YORK
25171 6077 Miles, Rebecca G F27 2075 5:02:24 NEW YORK

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